Agonising

I had an asthma attack. Yet again. Supposed to go to work but I kept getting breathless. I was so tired from the backache therefore deciding enough is enough. I needed to go see the doctor. Went to polyclinic, waited since 8.30 till 11.30. 3 hours of waiting when I finally bolted out of there.

Didn't seem to improve my condition though. The wheezing can still be heard when i laid down to rest. So irritating and the itch in my throat was excruciating. Took dosage after dosage of inhaler which seemed to be able to calm it down for few hours before it starts again. Took pills and cough syrups. Needless to say, I'm so high right now. My hands are shaking so bad from the pills and my head's pounding in sync to my heartbeat. Back aches.

Asthma is so agonising. It takes all your breath away and you'll be left sitting there thinking is this a preview of what's to come. Sadistic, I know. But that's me. If I were to choose between asthma and migraine, I wouldn't know which to pick. I'm so weak. Slap me silly.

Even now, my hands are trembling so bad I had to retype this sentence so many times. The cough syrup wipes me out each time I sip it.

I just want my boy back. And some needed rest. And a stable state of mind.