2007
This year is full of disappointments. All towards myself. It's amazing..How can someone be so disappointed in themselves?
I feel disappointed when I couldn't get a bloody job after Poly. Disappointment hit rock bottom when I received news that I wasn't accepted for teaching career. Felt disappointed when i couldn't pass my motor test the first and second time (immense disappointment on the second one, might i add). Disappointed again when I couldn't throw a great bday for Ifa like she had for me. Disappointed again when I couldn't get things right at work. Disappointed when I couldn't cope with Aman nt being ard. Disappointed that I'm nt pursuing what I dreamt of being years ago. Disappointed that I couldn't get a wow-gift for Aman. Disappointed that I can't contribute so much to the family.
I can go on and on. 2007 has been a hard year on my ego. It has deflated and inflated so many times, I'm sure I've punctured it now. Maybe I'm just so f-ed up lazy. Or maybe just plain jane jealous that some people out there get to live the life I dreamt about. Entahla. I don't understand myself. I wanna go for it but I don't have the finance. I wanna pursue but my ass can't seem to budge from my safe zone. I wanna work hard but I don't want stress.. Where the hell can you find tt kinda dream job, FOOL?!...
Please help me to locate the Ain I used to be because she's taking her own sweet time to come back.
I feel disappointed when I couldn't get a bloody job after Poly. Disappointment hit rock bottom when I received news that I wasn't accepted for teaching career. Felt disappointed when i couldn't pass my motor test the first and second time (immense disappointment on the second one, might i add). Disappointed again when I couldn't throw a great bday for Ifa like she had for me. Disappointed again when I couldn't get things right at work. Disappointed when I couldn't cope with Aman nt being ard. Disappointed that I'm nt pursuing what I dreamt of being years ago. Disappointed that I couldn't get a wow-gift for Aman. Disappointed that I can't contribute so much to the family.
I can go on and on. 2007 has been a hard year on my ego. It has deflated and inflated so many times, I'm sure I've punctured it now. Maybe I'm just so f-ed up lazy. Or maybe just plain jane jealous that some people out there get to live the life I dreamt about. Entahla. I don't understand myself. I wanna go for it but I don't have the finance. I wanna pursue but my ass can't seem to budge from my safe zone. I wanna work hard but I don't want stress.. Where the hell can you find tt kinda dream job, FOOL?!...
Please help me to locate the Ain I used to be because she's taking her own sweet time to come back.
posted by ainstein at 10:57 PM
2 Comments:
hey couz, relax k..
eventhough u feel so disappointed of urself, my mom still think very highly of u..
she so envy u till she always say positive things abt u non-stop.. so dont think much k..
appreciate wat u have now & that ur bank account still got some $ unlike mine.. ;)
hey babe, chill ya.the positive ain is just burried under nonsense disappointments and set back.
stop wishing for something and expect things to happen and things will eventually happen. stop wanting to do everything 100% and you'll realise it's much better when you do it like that. so chill yeah? :Dthink on e bright side, you did grad from poly..haha unlike me and you survived with aman in tekong and you still got all of us. so cheer up.
:D:D
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